53 - Time, Friendship, and Being Present: A Conversation with Lori Schulweiss and Jenn Giamo
In this special guest episode of 1,000 Waking Minutes, Dr. Wendy Bazilian is joined by Lori Schulweiss and Jenn Giamo, the voices behind the podcast Everybody Talks, for a candid, funny, thoughtful conversation about time, friendship, stress, wellness, aging, work, movement, dogs, joy, and the challenge of being truly present while living modern life.
Together, they explore what it means to spend our waking minutes well, from perfectionism and productivity to family, seasons of life, grief, movement, mindfulness, and the small everyday moments that quietly shape us.
The conversation moves from Central Park cherry blossoms and dogs living fully in the moment… to the pressure to constantly “do,” the realization that time moves quickly, and the growing desire to slow down enough to actually experience life while we’re living it.
This episode feels less like an interview and more like sitting at the table with friends sharing honest reflections about work, life, identity, aging, joy, and what really matters.
Lori Schulweiss is a longtime television producer with Live with Kelly and Mark and co-host of Everybody Talks. Jenn Giamo is a wellness professional, certified trainer, yoga instructor, and co-host of Everybody Talks.
WE DISCUSS:
WE DISCUSS:
(00:00) Why this conversation felt like the right first guest episode for 1,000 Waking Minutes
(6:35) When work and personal life blur together in wellness, media, and modern life
(17:19) Central Park, cherry blossoms, seasons, and the beauty of fleeting moments
(31:09) Aging, perspective, friendship, grief, and realizing how quickly time moves
(44:16) Productivity, perfectionism, and the pressure to optimize every minute
(56:45) Dogs, joy, movement, mental health, and living more fully in the present
(58:44) Looking up, slowing down, and appreciating the life unfolding around us
You can find Lori Schulweiss and Jenn Giamo at Everybody Talks and at EBT Podcast on YouTube.
Thank you for spending a few of your waking minutes with us today.
CONNECT WITH OUR GUESTS:
Lori Schulweiss and Jenn Giamo are the co-hosts of the wellness and lifestyle podcast Everybody Talks, where they explore health, mindset, relationships, aging, movement, and the everyday realities of trying to live well in modern life with honesty, humor, and heart.
Follow Everybody Talks:
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Podcast: Every. Body. Talks.
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/every-body-talks/id1697412102
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Website: https://www.everybodytalkspodcast.com/
CONNECT WITH WENDY:
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Visit my website: wendybazilian.com
Email me topics you want covered on the podcast: 1KWM@wendybazilian.com
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Thank you for tuning in to 1,000 Waking Minutes and being part of this journey–together. A huge thank you to our amazing collaborators including our production and marketing teams and Gabriela Escalante in particular. To the ultra-talented Beza for my theme music, my lifelong friend and artist Pearl Preis Photography and Design, to Danielle Ballantyne, Jen Nguyen, Joanna Powell, and of course, my family and everyone working tirelessly behind the scenes.
HEALTH DISCLAIMER:
The information shared in this podcast is for educational purposes only and should not be considered individual medical or health advice. Always consult with your trusted healthcare provider before making any changes to your diet, exercise, or medical treatment.
Transcript
We experience 1000 waking minutes on average every day.
Speaker:How are you spending yours?
Speaker:I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian and you're listening to 1000 Waking Minutes.
Speaker:I can't wait to connect with you here with practical ways to eat well, move daily and be healthy, to optimize every waking minute you live for a happier, healthier life.
Speaker:Thank you for sharing some of your waking minutes with me today.
Speaker:Let's get started.
Speaker:I'm saying yes to better days, yes.
Speaker:I'm on my way, yes.
Speaker:It's gonna be okay, yeah.
Speaker:Hello and welcome to 1000 Waking Minutes.
Speaker:I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian and I'm really glad you're here today.
Speaker:Today's episode is a little different and it will be a lot of fun because this is the first time on my podcast that I'm joined by guests.
Speaker:These are not just any guests.
Speaker:These are two people that I picked specially to be the first.
Speaker:It's been a long time coming because I told them months ago, you will be my first guest and I had to get it together in order to be here today.
Speaker:These are people, these women, these humans that I genuinely enjoy spending time with, I admire, and I've shared some really meaningful conversations on podcasting with them, on their podcasts, but also personally over the years.
Speaker:We have with us Jenn Giamo and Lori Schulweiss.
Speaker:These are the voices behind the podcast, Everybody Talks.
Speaker:I've had the pleasure of joining them on their show in the past.
Speaker:It's been a little while since we've sat down and chatted, but I couldn't think of a better way than to do it live and with you, to launch this new chapter here.
Speaker:Just by way of a brief introduction, and we'll get more into the weeds in a minute, Jenn has a master's degree in nutrition education, right, Jenn?
Speaker:Yes, and a certified personal trainer, yoga instructor Reiki, and a corrective exercise specialist.
Speaker:She's also the founder of Trainers in Transit, and it's a personalized training service that quite literally meets people where they are.
Speaker:With the idea of meet them where they are, people, that's it in action.
Speaker:Lori is a long-time television producer, nearly three decades in the industry, or maybe more, you'll tell me in a minute, live with Kelly and Mark.
Speaker:More?
Speaker:31.
Speaker:Oh my gosh, more than three decades in the industry, very awesome.
Speaker:When I first met her years ago, it was 16, 17 years ago, she has a background in communications and journalism, but also, or I always like instead of but, and, and also a deep and genuine passion for health and wellness, and it shows up in everything she does.
Speaker:If you haven't come across their podcast yet, another favorite word, yet, Everybody Talks.
Speaker:It explores the wide world of wellness through both expert insight from their guests and themselves, but also real-life experience, and it is also, it's really fun.
Speaker:It's really genuine.
Speaker:They talk about everything from brain health, strength, menopause, mindset, and everyday realities, trying to feel good in your body and in your life.
Speaker:What I especially appreciate about the way they bring their voices to this format, podcasting, is the depth and also the honesty, I think.
Speaker:Those are two things that I love, and a lot of laughter, because I often hear a lot of laughter, and you see it, you see that translate, and I'm sure we'll have some today.
Speaker:So today we're bringing with that spirit into this space through a lens of something that I talk about often here, how we live our days, how we spend our time, where our minutes feel full and sometimes stretched, sometimes maybe even a little lost.
Speaker:So I hope in today's conversation that it is just that, a conversation about what we're working on, what's been on our minds, and how life feels right now inside our lives.
Speaker:So Jenn and Lori, welcome.
Speaker:I'm so glad you're here.
Speaker:You can probably hear a little bit of my nerves because I'm excited to be with you today.
Speaker:You're nerves.
Speaker:We're very nervous.
Speaker:We have no idea what, like we kind of have an idea of what we're talking about, but we really don't.
Speaker:It's very strange being on the other side of this.
Speaker:I really feel like I'm going to start asking you questions.
Speaker:I agree.
Speaker:But no, this is going to be fun.
Speaker:You're excellent questioners.
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:But I want to hear from you.
Speaker:So I guess kicking it off here a little bit, like something in your work right now, we haven't gotten together just to have a chat.
Speaker:We text sometimes.
Speaker:We have conversations.
Speaker:But in your life right now that feels maybe meaningful or that's maybe a little surprising to you, are you focused on something in particular that might be taking time or you're enjoying your time right now with?
Speaker:I feel like you don't have.
Speaker:Because somebody prepared it.
Speaker:That's why she looks at me.
Speaker:You start with the notes right next to you.
Speaker:I deliberately didn't point to one person to start.
Speaker:Well, you knew that I was going to point.
Speaker:I was definitely going to point.
Speaker:Gosh, I mean, we always have a lot going on.
Speaker:I mean, the podcast takes a lot of our time, my time in particular.
Speaker:Some of mine.
Speaker:It takes a lot of our time.
Speaker:But we have a health and wellness group of women that I think we've, I mean, it's been going on for several years, but most recently have been pouring a lot of time into it just from the things that we're learning through the podcast with guests like you and other doctors that we talk to, and we're kind of bringing that back to our group, and it's generating a lot of conversation.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:It just feels like it's taken a bigger position kind of in my life.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:I feel like she was talking about something more personally that was taking up.
Speaker:Either way.
Speaker:I mean, in your work or in your life beyond work, either one, because that's really interesting how, because a follow-up question I had been thinking about already, but not to go there yet, is sort of like something seems simple on the outside, you know, like what you do looks simple.
Speaker:And you started by saying, you know, the podcast takes up a lot of time, and that's a reality to anchor in.
Speaker:So that's interesting.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:How about you, Lori?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I mean, look, a lot of my time is spent, obviously, at work.
Speaker:But, you know, we were just talking about this with my sister actually this morning, how the way we tape the show now is so different from when I first started, when I felt like no time was my own.
Speaker:Like I felt like, you know, when we're taping this, Passover and Easter have just passed.
Speaker:And when we had the Passover Seder, and I was told that there was a 4 o'clock start time to a Seder, and I'm thinking, there is no way I'm making it on time.
Speaker:Like the minute I hear the time, and I even get a call the day before, are you at work?
Speaker:Like what time are you going to get there?
Speaker:Like it's kind of known.
Speaker:And so because of the way things kind of shifted, and I have more time for myself and my family, I ended up being on time.
Speaker:I feel like I've taken back some time for myself, you know, I feel like.
Speaker:But, yeah, work takes up a lot of space.
Speaker:I feel like it's very blurred for me.
Speaker:Like when you just said like, oh, she was asking more personal.
Speaker:I feel like it's, I love what I do so much that it's like it's very, those lines are so blurry.
Speaker:Like I don't think of what I do as work.
Speaker:I know it sounds like so cliche, but I really don't.
Speaker:And I feel like what I do in my every day is part of what I do in my work, you know, just living a healthy lifestyle and doing all these things to kind of support.
Speaker:And we just spoke to somebody before this about stress and resiliency and all of that.
Speaker:And I'm like, oh, my gosh, if I didn't do all the things that I do, that I would be a serial killer because I'm still stressed.
Speaker:And I do all the things that, you know, quote, unquote, you're supposed to do.
Speaker:But, but, yeah, I think time is, I mean, we're going to talk about that.
Speaker:But, yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Well, I, you know, curious when they do blend together, do you establish, do you have practices that help you delineate when, you know, you turn off?
Speaker:Maybe it's less clear for you, Jenn or Lori.
Speaker:Is it clear when the day is done on a standard, even though it's evolved over time workday?
Speaker:I'm going to, I'm going to answer this for Jen.
Speaker:For Jen, no, there's no, there's no boundary.
Speaker:There's no time to cut the clock.
Speaker:I feel like, you know, Tim, her boyfriend forces her to stop the clock because if he weren't around, I think she would work well into the night.
Speaker:Yeah, I would.
Speaker:But also think about like, and this was something, you know, you go to a physical place for your work.
Speaker:And when your day is done, you come home and there is that delineation between, you know, I'm home.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:For me, it's not.
Speaker:It's like I'm, I work kind of, I mean, a lot from home now, especially since COVID, you know, a lot of my, mostly all of my clients are virtual now.
Speaker:Just kind of stayed that way, even though we're back to living our normal lives.
Speaker:But so there, to answer your question, no, I don't, I don't know that there is.
Speaker:I probably should be better about that.
Speaker:But even I, you know, I think also since COVID, you know, I work, I work a couple days from home a week.
Speaker:And so, I mean, I don't think it's a secret that the show is live three days and then we're dark for Thursdays and Fridays, which has been lovely for me in a lot of ways.
Speaker:But in a lot of ways, I work more on the Thursday through Sunday portion of my week than I do.
Speaker:Because like if it's a Friday night and I don't have plans, I'll sit down at the computer and I'll do either work for the podcast or work for work.
Speaker:And just to get ahead, like I just want to get ahead.
Speaker:And so there is no, you're right.
Speaker:There is no line between those two, because I think like, oh, I have some free time.
Speaker:Not, I don't think, oh, I'll go for a walk.
Speaker:I'll do something else.
Speaker:I, oh, I have some free time.
Speaker:I'll sit down and I'll do work.
Speaker:Like that's ridiculous when you think about it.
Speaker:You know, it's so interesting.
Speaker:You both sort of said something that connected the dots on like the digital world.
Speaker:I mean, like, Jen, you're, you know, meeting your clients virtually.
Speaker:You're meeting them where they are exactly what, you know, you've always done.
Speaker:But it's evolved and changed.
Speaker:And it's through technology that allowed it to happen.
Speaker:The ability for the show to be live three days and go dark and you to be able to do what you do is because we have tools that allow us to do that.
Speaker:But it also invades our space in a way that either makes our brain have to work very consciously to say not now or it becomes, it has the potential to become in, you know, enter every space.
Speaker:Yeah, I'm sure it's a double edged sword for.
Speaker:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker:Definitely.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It's interesting.
Speaker:I remember a Wall Street Journal article back a number of years.
Speaker:And it's interesting how COVID is such a timestamp that this is even before that, you know.
Speaker:But they were talking about how having so much access at our fingertips made every person their own like travel agent.
Speaker:You know, they had to book their own flights now, their own admin support, you know.
Speaker:And not that the that the hierarchy and the structure was perfect by any means.
Speaker:But, you know, after your day's work is done, if you before had other people doing some of your work, you were now doing it.
Speaker:You were like all of a sudden taking on because you had the capacity and you knew your schedule best and you had to do it.
Speaker:And you and that eats in on our valuable time, you know, really.
Speaker:Yeah, one thousand percent.
Speaker:Also, like you for me, at least, I underestimate how much time things take, you know, like I'll sit down to do something.
Speaker:I'm like, oh, I just have to do X, Y, Z.
Speaker:I'll take me take me 20 minutes and two hours later, I'm still sitting there.
Speaker:I'm like, oh, wait, no, that's not really true.
Speaker:So but I also feel you are somewhat of a perfectionist of some sort.
Speaker:What?
Speaker:And so I think you will keep at something until a first of all, you're very working on that.
Speaker:Curious and very studious and very you love research.
Speaker:You love all those things.
Speaker:And so you will stay at something until you really understand it, whereas I'm more likely to give up.
Speaker:I feel like, you know, if I can't I get to a point where I want to do it, too.
Speaker:But I know that I can't.
Speaker:But you will keep at it in such a way.
Speaker:You're so diligent with that, which is it's it's not a bad quality, but it's not a great quality either.
Speaker:You know, you know, on both sides, is it really giving up or you feel satisfied with where you are so you can move on to the next?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Perfection gets in the way of progress sometimes.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I was going to say it's funny, like with the podcast in particular, you know, there's a whole editing process, you know, for all we know.
Speaker:When do you let it this whole part of the question out?
Speaker:I think we all know, but there's a whole there's a whole editing process that happens.
Speaker:And because of time and money and other constraints, we do really only like one or two passes at an episode.
Speaker:And I think if she would I mean, it's funny.
Speaker:She's we're critical of the episodes in different ways, which makes it good when we're editing it down.
Speaker:But on the other hand, when I listen to it like in its final version, I still could make more edits.
Speaker:And I choose, I think, like not to because I don't want to waste the time or the energy to do that.
Speaker:And I think like a lot of what's there is the part that's appealing anyway.
Speaker:You know, there's a lot of things that would make it tighter, but you let things go.
Speaker:So you become satisfied, not necessarily like happy with it a lot of times, but very satisfied.
Speaker:Sometimes we are happy sometimes.
Speaker:I mean, you might be surprised.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Surprised, you know, because what other people, you know, your audience catches might have been something you chose to edit out.
Speaker:A hundred percent.
Speaker:A hundred percent.
Speaker:Good enough.
Speaker:Good enough.
Speaker:Good enough.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:You know, I mean, time is so interesting.
Speaker:You know, I talk about this a lot is like I always think of time as our great harmonizer because everyone gets the same.
Speaker:You can't be more perfectionist and get more.
Speaker:You can't be gifted more.
Speaker:You can't be smarter and get more.
Speaker:You can't go to a certain live in a certain region and get more.
Speaker:We all have the same bank and you also can't save it up like it.
Speaker:You know, it's like your currency is used up and you get a deposit every day and you live your life.
Speaker:And it's so it's it's interesting how we manifest around that concept through our obligations are good enough.
Speaker:Moving forward, looking forward to being with sharing time with someone or dogs.
Speaker:I mean, I know that those are active parts of your lives, you know.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And so I'm thinking that within this, even if you don't have you know, you're not saying you have clear boundaries in certain certain aspects or that you're perfectionist in another.
Speaker:I'm wondering about what decisions on a daily basis you might make, like small ones that are either non-negotiable or bring the biggest impact.
Speaker:Like I won't miss this.
Speaker:This is something it could be an obligation or it could be something that's joyful that just to pursue it for that.
Speaker:But like, is there something that you do that you're like that's there no matter what?
Speaker:And that's time well spent for me.
Speaker:I mean, for me, the first thing literally that comes to my mind is the walk in Central Park in the morning with the dogs seven days a week, weekend, weekday, workday, playday.
Speaker:It's it's something that I don't really want to get up.
Speaker:You know, it's like before nine in Central Park.
Speaker:They're allowed off leash.
Speaker:And I make sure that I get up in time to take them, even if it's like for an hour, half an hour.
Speaker:Like they get as they get a lot of joy out of it.
Speaker:They're all sleeping as a result of it right now.
Speaker:But I get it so much.
Speaker:I, I don't think enough about the joy that it actually gives me to do that, to to be in the park, especially like we're taping this in spring.
Speaker:I said this yesterday to Jenn when we were in the park, this Central Park in spring with the cherry blossoms, the magnolia.
Speaker:There is nowhere more beautiful on earth than Central Park is right now.
Speaker:And it's going to last such a short time, like I don't want to miss a minute of it, you know.
Speaker:So I feel like that walk in the morning at whatever time, whether it's six thirty or eight o'clock, I never I literally never miss it unless it rains.
Speaker:But yeah, I literally never miss it.
Speaker:Yeah, gosh.
Speaker:I mean, I definitely agree with that.
Speaker:I don't I'm not as diligent about it as you are because I spend half my time in the city and half my time at the beach.
Speaker:So, I mean, although the dogs always get walked no matter where I am and I do, I that is a non-negotiable.
Speaker:I mean, mostly because they don't, you know, they have to go out.
Speaker:But I mean, for me, I think it's it's just like it's movement and exercise and like like I have to and it's not for any other reason than well, it is for other reasons.
Speaker:But but mainly it is my mental health depends on whether or not I get outside, I go for a walk, I get to the gym, I go to a yoga class or any class or something that is taking me just outside of my thoughts and myself.
Speaker:And just to do that every single day, it doesn't have to be anything crazy.
Speaker:It just has to happen every day because my mood depends on it.
Speaker:So that that's what it is for me.
Speaker:I'm jealous of that.
Speaker:I have to say I'm jealous of that in you because you really I know that that's the important thing to you.
Speaker:And I will do it no matter what, like if like the day goes by and I try to always do it in the morning.
Speaker:My schedule varies a lot day to day, but I try to get it in on the early part of the day.
Speaker:But I will say that even if five or six or seven or eight o'clock rolls around and I have not done something, I will go out and do something.
Speaker:Have you had enough, I guess, negative feedback when you don't do it to make it that necessary?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Hundred percent.
Speaker:I'm in a really cranky mood.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Why are you jealous of it, Lori?
Speaker:Because I feel like it's that commitment.
Speaker:It's a commitment that I don't have that I think I have, but I certainly do not.
Speaker:I mean, I guess I'm walking.
Speaker:I definitely walk a lot.
Speaker:I try to walk to as many places I can.
Speaker:I live in New York City.
Speaker:We could walk everywhere.
Speaker:I have that movement for sure.
Speaker:But the thought that I am moving for just myself, I don't have that.
Speaker:Well, because maybe it doesn't give you the same reward that it gives me.
Speaker:Maybe it doesn't, but I know how I feel after I do do that.
Speaker:And I do a workout that's meant for me.
Speaker:But also if you don't do it, you're not like a nasty shrew like me.
Speaker:Oh, that's extreme.
Speaker:That's extreme.
Speaker:That may be somewhat practice, I wonder.
Speaker:I'm pontificating here, and I want to go back to the Central Park because I have a lot of images that come into my mind because I can see your story posts in my mind, Lori.
Speaker:I can see the seasons.
Speaker:Wendy, I just want to say every time I walk by a certain view of it's a San Remo across the boat fawn where people row their boats.
Speaker:Literally, whatever time of day I walk by, I take a picture every single day that I pass by that of that scene.
Speaker:So I have that picture, winter, spring, summer, fall, January, August, December, May, and it just through the lens of a camera, my phone, like you're seeing nature, you know, in this one view.
Speaker:I'm getting chills, honestly.
Speaker:I see that.
Speaker:And curiously, well, it's not that surprising, and this is going to let anyone with full seasons defend their stance.
Speaker:Having four seasons, you know, oh, but we have the four seasons.
Speaker:We can visit the four seasons out here in California.
Speaker:But I have to say that there is something to having seasons that really helps you capture and mark time.
Speaker:Like the excitement of I know exactly the time of year.
Speaker:I mean, I miss New York City is like one of my favorite places, and I used to spend a lot of time there.
Speaker:Like I used to call it a genus candy, Cotton Candicus, the cherry blossom, because they were so explosive.
Speaker:I felt like, my gosh, I'm looking at these pom-pom balls of pink, you know, cotton candy.
Speaker:I can see that in my mind, and that you capture that.
Speaker:I would love to see it.
Speaker:You should do one of those like strings together over time of that picture.
Speaker:I know.
Speaker:I should.
Speaker:I should.
Speaker:I did meetings of posts this past week.
Speaker:I've taken so many pictures of the dogs, just the tree, this tree close up, far away, like you've been doing the same thing because you can't like, you know, it's going to.
Speaker:It still doesn't really do it justice.
Speaker:No.
Speaker:The colors are.
Speaker:You can't capture it.
Speaker:And it's going to last, and it's going to be gone in, I give it another week, it's going to be gone.
Speaker:Even the tulips, even in the middle of Park Avenue.
Speaker:Yes, yes.
Speaker:You cross Park Avenue, and the tulips are in these like bright colors, and it's just, it's amazing.
Speaker:But yeah, you're right.
Speaker:It's very fleeting.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Very fleeting.
Speaker:But that's a neat part of capturing time.
Speaker:I mean, that's letting you look at it, you know, I mean, like you're there that moment and you, and maybe the photography is like trying to like ingest it, you know?
Speaker:It's like.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:You know, what's funny is you're making me think of, I have a very good friend who does this thing one second.
Speaker:And you would love this.
Speaker:And I'm surprised if you don't do this, but she captures one second of every day, three, six.
Speaker:And at the end of the year, she puts the whole, so she has a second from every single day of the year together.
Speaker:And it is like a reminder, because I don't know if anyone like looks back into their phone of the like past year or even the past six months or the, for us the past week, it was all dogs, but you know, but you don't realize how much you like a year is short, but isn't short.
Speaker:It's kind of long.
Speaker:You know, you do many, many things.
Speaker:Just an interesting way to look at it.
Speaker:Well, how do we capture time?
Speaker:You know, I did a, an episode not too long ago.
Speaker:I sort of had heard.
Speaker:And then I saw, you know, SNL picked it up as skit.
Speaker:Maybe you've seen it.
Speaker:There was a viral moment called 365 buttons.
Speaker:And someone posted about taking buttons and just putting them into a jar.
Speaker:And she wasn't an influencer.
Speaker:She wasn't intending to be influencing anyone, but people said, why are you doing that?
Speaker:And she said, you know, I just want to Mark time.
Speaker:And I said, but why tell me more?
Speaker:And she's like, you know, it's, it's my business, you know, like you don't need to know.
Speaker:And that became a viral meme.
Speaker:And then it became an SNL skit.
Speaker:But this idea that you're talking about is sort of like capturing the second a day.
Speaker:I started with this year because I've tried every version of journaling.
Speaker:I've talked about this before and, you know, one year to the next, I'm trying the next thing on feeling, you know, like that's a failure.
Speaker:I have three pages out of a book and it's a gorgeous book.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Not that one.
Speaker:I'll buy the cheapo next year.
Speaker:Everything.
Speaker:I've tried everything, but this year, and it's working pretty good because there's no end perfection goal, I guess, because I might have some of the streak that you were talking about, Jen.
Speaker:I just have a little note paper.
Speaker:It's three by three little note paper, all different colors.
Speaker:And I just jot stuff down randomly when I think of it, the date and like saw the cherry blossoms today.
Speaker:And I've been plunking it in a little bag to look at, at some later time, maybe the end of the year, maybe something like that.
Speaker:But my daughter, because you forget some of the little moments, you know, and we do in a day have so many of them, you know?
Speaker:So I think what you're doing is so amazing that you have a routine like that, that you literally can watch your days, your months, your years in such a steady way.
Speaker:It's cool.
Speaker:It's funny, Wendy, that you just reminded me of I did that about probably like maybe a year or two ago.
Speaker:Um, it wasn't every day, but it was when something happened, I had a jar and I would write it down.
Speaker:I'd write the date and I write whatever it was that happened on that day.
Speaker:And I put it in the jar and I did at the end of the year, I emptied it out.
Speaker:I don't know if I even told you, I emptied it out and I still have it.
Speaker:It's all these like little strips of paper.
Speaker:And I looked at the things and the date and it's like, it is so true.
Speaker:You forget so many meaningful things or even things that are like you don't think are meaningful at the time.
Speaker:And then you look back and it was like, I started bawling my eyes out.
Speaker:I was like, Oh my God, you know?
Speaker:So I think that there is something to that.
Speaker:If you're not somebody who journals, which I, I kind of do both.
Speaker:Um, but that's such an easy, quick way to just document something, drop it in the jar, especially someone who has kids.
Speaker:I think that that's really, really cool to see at the end of the year.
Speaker:I mean, there's a lot of those things where people take a picture of their kid on the first day of school every year or whatever.
Speaker:And then they look, you know, look back at it.
Speaker:So it's similar to that.
Speaker:But, um, for someone that doesn't have kids, I know, well, we always say that we don't feel our age because we don't have children.
Speaker:You know, we, neither one of us have kids.
Speaker:And a lot of time is shown through the aging of your children, like from birth to, well, just the milestone.
Speaker:We don't have those, those milestone markers.
Speaker:Kindergarten, graduation, like high school, college, you know, you don't have those things to kind of mark yourself going through.
Speaker:And so you kind of lose track you before, you know what, it's like, oh, we've been friends for 10 years.
Speaker:Who knew, you know, um, Yeah, there's some, there's something to that.
Speaker:I would agree because I came to motherhood so much later, you know, I'd had a long, um, couple of decade more, um, professional career approaching your, your numbers, uh, before having Callie.
Speaker:And, um, I would, I would agree with that.
Speaker:And, um, also say that you're, you're seeing time through those milestones because you're forced to, you literally see growth.
Speaker:We take it on a wall.
Speaker:It's right back to how do we mark time, you know, through our seasons.
Speaker:Um, and it can be challenging to mark your own time though.
Speaker:You know, like you see yourself sort of through there, but you're so focused on what their changes are that I think that there's sort of an in-between, you know, like, um, the grass is always greener.
Speaker:I, you know, it's not related to that, but, you know, sort of like one perspective, the other, I think that there are built in bonuses and challenges from both sides on that, that human nature to like account for ourselves, you know, um, through the days that we live on.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:You know, before, I mean, there's been years where it's basically been like my itemized tax documents have been my like timeline and that is not a way to remember the year.
Speaker:Oh yes.
Speaker:We had that business dinner in January and that trip in March.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:That's so funny.
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:Much happier ways to remember, remember a moment.
Speaker:Most recently, I feel like when I look in the mirror, I'm marking time and I'm like, Oh my God, there's a wrinkle I've never seen before.
Speaker:There's an expression line that is, that is being expressed without me making an expression.
Speaker:And I'm like, when did this happen?
Speaker:So that those are the, the, the markings of time that I don't enjoy to see, but I should embrace them because, you know, I should just embrace them.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:But are you embracing them?
Speaker:What would say, I feel like, no, I mean, it depends.
Speaker:I don't think we have to be perfect on that one, but I hear you like the me too.
Speaker:It's like that you're seasoned yourself, that you're wiser and, you know, older and all those great things that lines are a different kind of marking time.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:But I hear you because it does feel like time can stop when you don't see it.
Speaker:And then sometimes you see it and you're like, wow, it's right there in front of you.
Speaker:It's not the same wake up.
Speaker:Like where did that time go?
Speaker:Like, you know, looking back at just old pictures.
Speaker:Even I recently found this box at my mom's house that had all these old pictures, like college and high school.
Speaker:And when I lived in California and like, and I'm looking at myself and I'm like, Oh my God, I, I don't remember looking that young, but here I am looking like I do now.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:But it is kind of a shock because you think, you know, you think you look the same.
Speaker:You don't by the way.
Speaker:I know.
Speaker:I know.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:No, I hear you.
Speaker:And you both look much younger than your age.
Speaker:I have a dear friend who may be in his eighth decade, but he says, you know, I'm whatever age I am.
Speaker:I feel like I'm 40 and I act like I'm 13 is, you know, an accomplished individual.
Speaker:And it's not that that's all literal, but sort of, you don't get stuck in time at that point.
Speaker:But I think that there are points where you feel like you're interacting.
Speaker:I don't know if you all are like this, you know, interacting with youthful coming of age folks.
Speaker:And you feel like you're right in the conversation until you're not.
Speaker:And then you're like, wait a sec.
Speaker:We have decades of difference.
Speaker:It's true.
Speaker:We had dinner last night with a woman.
Speaker:We both enjoy and have known for quite a while.
Speaker:And we've kind of 12 years.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And we've watched her kind of grow up and blossom and she's 30.
Speaker:She's turning 34, I guess, later this month.
Speaker:And, but talking to her, she can't believe how old we are.
Speaker:And truthfully, I can't either, because I talked to her and I think like I'm in her age.
Speaker:I'm also 34 in my head, you know?
Speaker:Um, but it's just very funny.
Speaker:But then you realize your life experience is kind of okay.
Speaker:You know, I think I'd rather be where I'm at, where I have trouble.
Speaker:And I've talked about this on our podcast quite a bit is that, you know, I'm don't like admitting or thinking about, it's not even admitting.
Speaker:It's I don't like thinking about the fact that I'm in my sixties and that, you know, your time is finite.
Speaker:And now you can see kind of the end of the road, you know, and it might not be tomorrow and it's not, you're hoping it's not for 30 years, but even the third, well, you think you've been alive for 60 years and that's a long time, the 20 or 30 years doesn't sound like a lot of time.
Speaker:And so you think like, how am I going to spend that?
Speaker:You know?
Speaker:Well, also I think looking back at, you know, when I, when someone says to me, oh, that was 20 years ago and I'm like, God, what?
Speaker:So you think about how fast 20 years goes are the guy I work with before, you know, thank you.
Speaker:She's not wrong.
Speaker:No, you know, what shocked me?
Speaker:Tell me, tell me what shocked me was the other day at work.
Speaker:I had this guy we call, who calls our trivia callers every day.
Speaker:And anyone who's familiar with our show, we play this silly game at the beginning.
Speaker:We call someone at home who's entered and something came up about nine 11 in our car and not on the air, just between me and him.
Speaker:And he said, oh, he goes, I wasn't born yet.
Speaker:And I looked at him, I'm like, wait, what?
Speaker:You weren't born for nine 11?
Speaker:Like that's in recent memory, but it's still 25 years ago.
Speaker:25 years.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Crazy.
Speaker:And they're full grown adults that are saying that, you know, it's not like it was fine when they were like, well, I'll give you that.
Speaker:You haven't learned that yet or whatever.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That is crazy.
Speaker:You're right.
Speaker:Like when you do talk to younger people, like certain things hit home and I have nieces who are 20 and 21 and just the things that, and again, like you think you're talking to someone who gets it like gets you.
Speaker:And then all of a sudden I'm like, oh no, they have no idea what I'm talking about right now.
Speaker:No idea.
Speaker:I hear in my head sometimes the advice of my older mentors and some, you know, more useful people and people who said, you know, just wait until and others that are you number one asked for advice or do you give, you know, your two cents on reality checks of your younger cohort that you interact with?
Speaker:I do.
Speaker:Sometimes it's unsolicited, but no, I do.
Speaker:I do.
Speaker:I do in particular with certain people.
Speaker:Um, one person in particular in the office who's in her thirties and, you know, I see her going through things that I felt and been through and I do feel like she listens in a way that's different because she knows we're very similar and that I'm the older version.
Speaker:You know, I'm kind of like, I don't know.
Speaker:Am I the, um, what do you call it?
Speaker:The, I can't think of the word for it.
Speaker:Am I what you don't want to be?
Speaker:You want to go the other way?
Speaker:Like there's a word for it.
Speaker:I can't feel that the aspiration or the, uh, the cautionary tale.
Speaker:I'm the cautionary tale.
Speaker:Don't be me.
Speaker:Don't be me.
Speaker:You know, but I think you do that.
Speaker:You do that with your nieces.
Speaker:I do.
Speaker:I do.
Speaker:My one niece in particular who, um, we're very similar, um, personalities and just the way we do things and see things and feel things.
Speaker:And you're just very emotional.
Speaker:And I feel like Wendy, you are too because you're my birthday twin.
Speaker:So you are also an Aquarius.
Speaker:We feel things a lot.
Speaker:Um, yes, but yeah, I, I, I think I do.
Speaker:And, and again, like, it's one of those things where when we were, when we were told these things, as we are now, like telling our younger, uh, friends and family that we didn't always listen.
Speaker:I didn't know.
Speaker:I never thought I was going to be 50 and it was like, Oh God, that's, that's so far off.
Speaker:Like, I'll worry about that when I get there, you know, it's just, um, so.
Speaker:I think I've told this before that when my first job, um, I worked for Fern Malice who's very well known in the fashion industry.
Speaker:And I remember that she was at, when I started working, I was 20, 21 years old.
Speaker:She was 36 and 36 to me was like, 36 is like old and I'm never being 36.
Speaker:Now, of course I would kill to be 36 again, but you really, everything is relative.
Speaker:Like you really just don't listen.
Speaker:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker:I seem to hope that I see some of the younger generation now listening a little differently, but maybe it is the same way.
Speaker:Cause I remember that too.
Speaker:I'd hear it and I'd be respectful about it, but I'd be like, Oh yeah, I'll notate that in the back of my mind.
Speaker:And then I notated it.
Speaker:I didn't really actually expect it, you know, like you recheck yourself, but I heard it, but I didn't really internalize it.
Speaker:And is that okay?
Speaker:You know, I guess, is that the protective mechanism that, you know, keeps us moving forward?
Speaker:I mean, and it's funny because I guess, you know, I mean, Fern really was, is, I mean, she's still around, a mentor to me.
Speaker:And the things that she taught me that I didn't even know I was learning hold true in a work ethic that I have and the way I work and how I work, no matter what the job is, you know, I didn't do what I did now then, but what I used to learn how to do then is kind of how I function now.
Speaker:I think, I think that the things that are more impactful are the, are the things that you see versus what you hear and the things that we watch people do versus, you know, you know, a lecture for lack of a better word.
Speaker:I think that it's true with Fern, like she did the things that you saw her do that you're like, oh, that, you know, and it just sort of embodies itself as work ethic or whatever you call it.
Speaker:It's like, she was in the trenches with you doing the work that people below her were supposed to do.
Speaker:She didn't leave, you know, and worry about whether it got done.
Speaker:She stayed too.
Speaker:Is that an example?
Speaker:I was going to say, what's, what's a, you know, whether it's a gem or like something that you do that you sort of attribute to like that time, whether she said it to you or by example that you, that you bring to your day.
Speaker:I mean that stay with, I will never forget.
Speaker:I mean, we did special events and we would have to stay late and put, and there were only four of us in the offices, four women.
Speaker:And she's the only one of, well, that's not true.
Speaker:She would stay and lick envelopes and stick stamps on and stay there until the work was done.
Speaker:And that, you know, I think that kind of boss or that kind of thing doesn't exist now.
Speaker:But I do see it translated to now when I stay at, you know, in my job at live, I have to wait till all everyone else's work is done, whether it's first thing in the morning or 7.
Speaker:PM I have to wait.
Speaker:And it's been both the bane of my existence and, you know, has inhibited me making plans after work a lot of the time.
Speaker:But on the other hand, it's like I can't leave without getting it done because I don't want to leave it half done.
Speaker:You know?
Speaker:I remember one time a few years ago, and this is during COVID.
Speaker:I let, I had to leave for dinner.
Speaker:My dad was alive and we were going to a birthday dinner for him down at this restaurant and I was late and I couldn't finish what I was doing.
Speaker:But meanwhile, I had got, I had COVID and I didn't know it.
Speaker:So I came and I, it was the one day I didn't finish everything.
Speaker:And I wasn't there the next day.
Speaker:So I'm trying to like walk everybody through it.
Speaker:So it was like, okay, finish everything.
Speaker:Cause you never know what's going to happen overnight.
Speaker:You're inadvertently punished for something that should have been fine.
Speaker:You should have been celebrated for it.
Speaker:Oh my gosh.
Speaker:Get it done.
Speaker:That's that's firm for you.
Speaker:Definitely.
Speaker:Definitely.
Speaker:I also hear in that I have a mentor.
Speaker:She's I've mentioned her, I think on your show too.
Speaker:She's 103, I think almost 104 in May.
Speaker:And she she said to me, I've worked with her in various capacities over the years.
Speaker:We've had a relationship for 25 plus years since she was 75.
Speaker:And she, she used to say, you know, do you, you know, do your work with kid gloves?
Speaker:Like everyone, everyone pitches in basically.
Speaker:It was like, it didn't matter at a certain point.
Speaker:It was like, get it done.
Speaker:But also like, doesn't matter what level you're at, you know, like when the end comes, when we're trying to finish something, we're all doing it.
Speaker:And it doesn't matter.
Speaker:Bring your kid gloves in, she would say.
Speaker:I think about how I learned and I, from my dad that to treat everyone that you come in contact with the same way, like you don't ever know what someone is going through and to just treat everybody the same.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I think I learned that a little bit as well from Regis of all people who, you know, would love talking to the, every man on the street and just hear their stories and didn't, you know, he was Regis, but you know, I think that that's an, I think you do do that.
Speaker:I try to do that.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I mean, certain sometimes you don't.
Speaker:I do still have my dad, my dad's temper or my dad's lack of patience.
Speaker:I should say.
Speaker:Again, it's not about perfection.
Speaker:It's your intention that you set that you arrive every day.
Speaker:It sounds like those are like unalterable rules in your guidebook.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:How about for future self projecting ahead?
Speaker:Are there things now that you, you can see in your future self, you are thinking about how you spend your time or not that it's limited so much Lori, but like, you see how time passes.
Speaker:You're much wiser on that.
Speaker:Now you can quantify how many Thanksgivings you've had, you know, I mean those kinds of things that are marking time, how many seasons of live you've been on, you know, how many central park walks, if you were to quantify, like are there things to future self Jen, Lori that 10 years from now that you could see yourself doing or maybe are, are working toward.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:I don't have a good answer to that.
Speaker:I mean, I think like I, they have to do with family.
Speaker:I'm going to cry.
Speaker:Wendy Bazilian, you're making me cry.
Speaker:Now I just turned into Regis.
Speaker:I hear that.
Speaker:I hear you.
Speaker:I hear it coming.
Speaker:I'm coming through.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:Like I'm spending a lot more time with my sister and my new nephew.
Speaker:Who's only four months old.
Speaker:And so I'm enjoying that.
Speaker:And I think like, oh, I'm not taking advantage of, I have little, I have littles, I have bigs, nieces and nephews, and I have littles.
Speaker:And I'm not taking advantage of the littles while they're little, because they're not saying little for very long, you know?
Speaker:And so I think I'd like to be more in present in their lives.
Speaker:I think that I am, you know?
Speaker:Oh, I like that.
Speaker:How about you Jen?
Speaker:I think, I don't know, something that, and this is sort of recent for me is that like, I'm very, as Lori mentioned, I might be like a little bit of a perfectionist and, you know, I like things a certain way and I'm starting to learn to like, let go.
Speaker:And you're going to laugh at this.
Speaker:I'm already laughing at it.
Speaker:I know, but like, no, I honestly like to, like I used to stress myself out if I didn't get up at a certain time in the morning and start working right away and do this thing and then do the next thing.
Speaker:And I'm finding that again, looking at time and how it is limited.
Speaker:And I lost my dad less than a year ago and I, you know, I want to spend more time with my family and, and do things that aren't necessarily related to work, but also to just like slow down.
Speaker:I don't need to do like, what is going to happen if I don't do the thing at 7.15 and I do it at 10.15, you know?
Speaker:And it's, and I think that gratitude has played a huge role in my life lately.
Speaker:It's like just, and there were so many moments even in the last few weeks where I've stopped and said like, Oh my gosh, I am so lucky that I get to do this yesterday.
Speaker:I went to the gym not to work out.
Speaker:I was like, all right, you know what?
Speaker:I'm a little stressed out.
Speaker:I'm going to the gym.
Speaker:I'm going to sit in the sauna and I'm going to do meditation.
Speaker:And that is all I did.
Speaker:And I was like, I am so lucky that I get to do this.
Speaker:And I, I put so much pressure on myself to, you know, make money and have a successful business and all these things.
Speaker:And it's like, there's not really, I mean, you know, there is sort of a timeline to that, I guess in a certain way, but there isn't really because like you can, you can do these things well into your sixties, seventies, eighties, whatever it is.
Speaker:And to take this time now, you know, when you have the energy, when you have the like wherewithal, all of these things to do them and, and appreciate them, I guess.
Speaker:And so I don't know, I'm hoping that 10 years from now, five years from now that I still, I kind of hold onto that and it sort of pays off in the sense that I'm, you know, not this doer, like everything is like do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, that I do that, but there are other things besides that in the world to enjoy.
Speaker:Well, one, one important piece of your identity.
Speaker:And I hear that in both of you really almost like the, how do we stop.
Speaker:It's not smell the roses, but, you know, sort of like how do we stop and say that is pretty remarkable.
Speaker:I get to do that.
Speaker:Or Jen.
Speaker:and stop and say, this is valuable time I'm spending right now.
Speaker:This isn't, you know, passing time.
Speaker:And I mean, why do they call them past times?
Speaker:It's like your passing time and some of them are most fabulous things to do.
Speaker:It's like my favorite pastime is, and it's like knitting or puzzles or daydreaming, you know, like whatever it is, that's your pastime.
Speaker:And it's passing time.
Speaker:And there's nothing inherently wrong with that scenario, except for the labels or the, you know, injuries that we seem to self-inflict from those, what we consider them as opposed to the opposite.
Speaker:Sometimes looking in from the outside on yourself is like, you know, become the scientist.
Speaker:When I work with individuals in sort of private practice settings, sometimes I'm like, let's not judge for a moment.
Speaker:Let's step outside of our body and like put on like really nerdy science glasses, maybe the tape, you know, I'm a very stereotypical mind when it comes to science, myself, not others.
Speaker:But, you know, let's take out our clipboard and let's just observe that interesting behavior, that human, you know, you just did that marvelously, both of you in a way that had more intersection than separation, interestingly, I thought.
Speaker:Well, I think to your point too, like that whole idea of labeling it as whatever it is, like for me, it would be, well, I shouldn't be doing that because I should be working and that's lazy or that's, you know, useless, that's wasted time and all those labels and those things.
Speaker:And that's like a lot of what I'm trying to let go of and just think like, there's time, like you don't have to force, everything doesn't have to be monetized, you know?
Speaker:The fact, can I get just that clip taken out of this?
Speaker:Not everything has to be monetized.
Speaker:I just want you to quote.
Speaker:You know, and we mentioned before, like something that you were taught, you know, a mentor taught you or that was modeled for you.
Speaker:And that there's a negative to that too, in that like success when I was growing up always was equated to money.
Speaker:And how much money someone makes is how successful they are.
Speaker:And that is like, that's very, very difficult to undo in your brain.
Speaker:I'm still working on that.
Speaker:There's a little saying in one of the Charlie McKessie, the book on the boy, the mole, the fox and the horse.
Speaker:I always get it mixed up, but where he says, I wish there was a school of unlearning.
Speaker:And I just, at certain moments, you know, the things that we learn and we hang tight to, I wish there was a school of unlearning, you know, for certain pieces, or maybe it's new labels or new, you really have to self-reflect and probably take a pause in order to get that right.
Speaker:I mean, we know that the people you talk to speak to that also.
Speaker:And I know that you're in active practices.
Speaker:The things that you say here, you know, I think that you do more than you let on in these areas.
Speaker:I'm just saying, I'm guessing, but have there been things that you've learned the hard way?
Speaker:I mean, is there an instance that you learned the hard way that it was too much energy-wise or time-wise?
Speaker:Is there an instance that you can think of, you know, to put you on the spot where something, you had a wake up moment or you said, you know what, I gotta do different?
Speaker:I mean, I would say the first thing, you know, it's like when I lost my dad and I'm going to say maybe also when she did, like you stop, you literally stop because you're, now I'm going to cry again.
Speaker:You stop because you're like, wait a minute, my world is like really off kilter.
Speaker:And it makes you really reassess where you are, where you're going, where you've been.
Speaker:You kind of are rethinking all those things.
Speaker:I was thinking when you were talking about unlearning things is that my dad was very successful in business and philanthropy.
Speaker:And if you are a kid of someone who is that successful, you don't have the real push to get you to be, you want to be as successful as him.
Speaker:And maybe I think all of us have, are in our own ways, but it's been, it's a difficult road to walk and you want to unlearn walking in that shadow and thinking like, I'm just paving my own way.
Speaker:But I think when you have that kind of like a, not traumatic, even though it is traumatic, but like a real event in your life that really makes you really put the brakes on, you are doing nothing but thinking about, oh my God, my life is completely different now.
Speaker:So I don't know.
Speaker:I mean, I guess there are things that I wish that I did differently.
Speaker:I don't know that, I don't know if they're necessarily hard lessons, but things that I kind of just wish I did differently and the consequences of that, not doing it the way I thought I should have done, maybe I think would have been different, like something would have been different, not necessarily that I know what that is, because I didn't do it the way that I thought I should have done it.
Speaker:And maybe if I did something would, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker:It's very abstract.
Speaker:Well, no, I think I get it a little bit, like the you today would have done it differently based on reflecting back on how you handled it or what the outcome may have been, or I don't know.
Speaker:Again, I don't have a concrete, but I feel like I feel that.
Speaker:Yeah, well, I feel like both of us went through divorces, which were, I think we both would have handled, I would have handled my marriage differently, you know?
Speaker:And I mean, I think I handled my divorce the best way that I could at the time.
Speaker:I don't look back.
Speaker:And I mean, I think you have some regrets when it comes to that.
Speaker:Major.
Speaker:And I don't want to speak for you, but I mean, I feel like I would have done things in my marriage very differently if I, and I maybe would have gotten divorced earlier, sooner, you know, because you saw warning signs, but you're stubborn and you don't, you're like, no, no, no, I've committed to this.
Speaker:I'm married.
Speaker:I don't want to, you know, be not married.
Speaker:And even if it's to this person.
Speaker:And so I feel like, you know, those are decisions that you make that you look back and you're like, oh, you know, I would have had more time.
Speaker:If I had ended it sooner, I would have had more time as the me that I am now, who I like much more than the me I was then, who I look back and I still am like, who was that girl?
Speaker:Because I, or woman, I don't know who that was.
Speaker:Look how it's informed though.
Speaker:I mean, on the upside of that, the fact that that happened informed how you are right now too, which is like crazy concept that enters our mind sometimes, like those things, even how we process them, you know, not even about hindsight is 2020.
Speaker:I don't even think that that's what that is.
Speaker:It's more like, it's like, now I have more tools of coping.
Speaker:Maybe that's the thing about being older and wiser and experience.
Speaker:I mean, I love when people say lived experience these days.
Speaker:I like that when they mean it like sort of, that's a phrase that I didn't grow up with.
Speaker:That wasn't a phrase that was even in, you know, my vocabulary, I think our world vocabulary, but our lived experience and how today it is and how it informs tomorrow.
Speaker:When you think about your days right now, where do your minutes, you know, back to the minutes, where do they feel most alive for you and energized or maybe satisfied?
Speaker:Is there a point in the day?
Speaker:Is it like the wake up that you do that you, you know, get up and get outside?
Speaker:Or is there a moment at the end of the day?
Speaker:Is there a point where you feel your most sort of, okay, this was a day well-lived hopefully, but you know, I'm 100% success rate on living.
Speaker:My minutes feel most alive.
Speaker:I think when I'm with the dogs
Speaker:and I'm like playing and wrestling around with the dogs,
Speaker:like this morning,
Speaker:I went to the gym sort of early this morning
Speaker:and I was listening to music,
Speaker:which is another thing that I think is different for me
Speaker:in recent time,
Speaker:that I used to always listen to a podcast, a book,
Speaker:a something that I'm learning something at all times
Speaker:because every minute had to be productive in my mind.
Speaker:And I'm more so listening to music now.
Speaker:And this morning I was listening to music when I was working out and I had the earbuds in and when I got home and I'm still listening to the music and the dogs were like going crazy and running and I'm singing to the dogs and I'm wrestling around with them on the couch.
Speaker:And I was like, this is so fun.
Speaker:Like, this is like, I felt, I feel really good when I'm doing that.
Speaker:I have to agree.
Speaker:The dogs are such a source of joy.
Speaker:One is dreaming right now.
Speaker:Yeah, I hear that.
Speaker:So cute.
Speaker:You know, the thing that, you know, cause I, when we had that big blizzard, not that long ago, I've told this story before, but it was miserable.
Speaker:I had to put the dogs in their daycare overnight cause they were closing the roads.
Speaker:I stayed in a hotel.
Speaker:I didn't see them for 24 hours.
Speaker:I picked them up the next day when the roads were starting to clear in New York city and we walked home through Central Park and it was just, the whole great lawn was like igloos and snowmen and it was like a field of snow and the dogs, even Oliver, who's, you know, about to be 12 years old is running around like a puppy.
Speaker:The other one, Frankie is running around.
Speaker:I'm laughing.
Speaker:I'm throwing a stick.
Speaker:There's nothing more joyful than that, you know, to end your day, you know, when they come running out of daycare, when I pick them up, that's the best part.
Speaker:That means like, okay, we're going home now.
Speaker:Now my day is good.
Speaker:You know?
Speaker:My owner's here.
Speaker:My family's home.
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:We're going home.
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:It's funny, like when you say that about the dogs, like we always joke that, you know, I have two dogs also.
Speaker:And my one dog is a rescue.
Speaker:And we always say like, he just appreciates everything just a little bit more, you know?
Speaker:And my other guy just expects the things.
Speaker:But in the morning, he's every morning, he's so excited when we are awake.
Speaker:Like he's like, oh my gosh, they're awake now.
Speaker:And he'll come up and crawl on you or whatever.
Speaker:And it's like- Who's that, Milo?
Speaker:Murray.
Speaker:Murray.
Speaker:He's so excited.
Speaker:He's like, oh my gosh, she's awake.
Speaker:Even if they're not like bugging me to go out or anything, he's just happy to be there.
Speaker:Yeah, there's so much to be learned from the way dogs approach life.
Speaker:They live in the moment more than any other creature.
Speaker:That you feed them, you walk them, that you show them attention.
Speaker:And, you know, they sleep.
Speaker:And they just take days as they come.
Speaker:There's no like thinking about tomorrow.
Speaker:There's no remembering yesterday.
Speaker:Although they'll remember where that piece of bread was left, you know, on the corner of 81st Street for years to come.
Speaker:But there is so much to be learned from the joy that they just have.
Speaker:When Frankie started, my little one has started to love fetch.
Speaker:So I'm one of these people that carries that dumb Focaccia thing that throws the ball far.
Speaker:Okay, which I hate carrying.
Speaker:My sister knows I hate carrying it too.
Speaker:But the look on her face when I pick it up and she's like, oh, you're throwing it now.
Speaker:I'm so excited.
Speaker:I'm so excited.
Speaker:I mean, it's so happy, you know?
Speaker:What's to not be happy about it?
Speaker:How much can we learn from them?
Speaker:My gosh, they really should be the ultimate role models, right?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:All right, well, turn on your counselor, you know, your coaching, your mental, like here's a tip piece now, because I think you said something in the pet side, but it made me think of like, if someone listening to us today talk wanted to improve 10 minutes on their day, let's say, where would you suggest they start?
Speaker:And of course you don't, you know, have their whole backstory and you don't have that.
Speaker:But like, if you were to say, you invited me for a tip, here's my tip.
Speaker:This is the tip I want to give.
Speaker:I mean, I would say just what I'm learning to do is just to slow down, just slow down and stop rushing through everything and stop like over doing all the things.
Speaker:Just take a moment, like I do this in the morning now when I get up before I even get out of bed.
Speaker:And I just take like three deep breaths.
Speaker:That's it, takes two minutes.
Speaker:And it just sort of like, I don't know, it just sets up my day better.
Speaker:I would say like, look around, look up in the sky.
Speaker:Like where we walk around and we look down at the ground and even in New York City, there's skyscrapers, there's things being built, there's blue.
Speaker:Jenn and I were at an event the other night and we came outside and the sky was the most miraculous blue I've ever seen.
Speaker:And we're like, how can we capture this in a photo?
Speaker:Of course, like we have to capture it.
Speaker:We could just enjoy it, you know, God forbid.
Speaker:You're not taking your own advice right now.
Speaker:No, I'm not.
Speaker:But I would say just like, look around, look where you are, appreciate your surroundings, whatever they are.
Speaker:It doesn't have to be Central Park.
Speaker:It doesn't, it could be on a city street.
Speaker:It could be like noticing like, you know, I always noticed the, on 79th Street, there's all like the former mansions that, and I always try to picture what New York, Upper, the Upper East Side looked like back in the Gilded Age.
Speaker:Cause those are the, that's what it was.
Speaker:This was a dirt road.
Speaker:I just want to see, you know, I would, yeah.
Speaker:Like you just want to, I think just to appreciate, look around and appreciate what's around you instead of like looking down and just seeing what's there.
Speaker:You know?
Speaker:That's a good one.
Speaker:Thank you.
Speaker:I busted that out.
Speaker:I love that, I love that.
Speaker:She's very insightful.
Speaker:Just came to my mind.
Speaker:There's a Japanese term.
Speaker:It's called mono no, I'm not saying it right, but mono no aware.
Speaker:And it's, it means like that moment that you tried to capture with the cherry blossoms and the sky.
Speaker:It's like, and they associate it with the cherry blossoms because it's there for a moment to like eat up.
Speaker:And then it's gone.
Speaker:And then it's gone.
Speaker:You know, that like moment in time.
Speaker:And that ties into slowing down as well so that you can take it in because in a moment it can be gone.
Speaker:This has been super fun for me.
Speaker:I'm so grateful for you to have shared your time with me, your stories, your perspective.
Speaker:It's truly a pleasure.
Speaker:And I would just want to be sure that anyone listening on my podcast heads over to yours, which is Everybody Talks.
Speaker:Connecting there with Lori and Jenn who post frequently are charming and witty.
Speaker:They're engaged with their audience at Everybody Talks.
Speaker:Every dot.
Speaker:There's periods in between.
Speaker:Periods in between.
Speaker:Periods in between.
Speaker:You've said it more times than I did.
Speaker:And online, because you can read show notes and find past episodes.
Speaker:And how many are you in now?
Speaker:We are at, yeah, hundreds.
Speaker:We're at like 140, maybe 141.
Speaker:And we would love it if people would subscribe to our YouTube channel, which is at EBT podcast on YouTube.
Speaker:You could see us and engage with us and our guests.
Speaker:And sometimes we just chat with each other and we have a good time.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And I will link to all this in our show notes and it's definitely worthwhile because there is fun to watch talking and laughing and having a good time as they are to listen to.
Speaker:It's a lot of fun to be with you both.
Speaker:And I'm appreciative to my listeners.
Speaker:So thank you for spending a few of your waking minutes with us today.
Speaker:You can listen to my podcast, 1000 Waking Minutes, wherever you get your podcasts and find me on Instagram at 1000 Waking Minutes.
Speaker:And we banter back and forth, our two parties on online as well.
Speaker:You can find me at all the usual places as well.
Speaker:So with that in mind, thank you again, Jenn and Lori.
Speaker:I'm Wendy Bazilian, your host, and until next time, be well.
Speaker:Thank you for tuning in to 1000 Waking Minutes.
Speaker:A huge thank you to our amazing collaborators, including our production and marketing teams and Gabriella Escalante in particular.
Speaker:To the ultra talented Beza for my theme music, my lifelong friend and artist, Pearl Preis Photography and Design.
Speaker:To Danielle Ballantyne, Jen Nguyen, Joanna Powell, and of course my family.
Speaker:And everyone working tirelessly behind the scenes.
Speaker:And to you, our valued listeners, I so appreciate your support.
Speaker:If you enjoyed today's episode, please consider leaving a comment, writing a review, and giving 1000 Waking Minutes, that's us, a five-star rating.
Speaker:And please hit subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you enjoy your podcasts.
Speaker:Please follow and stay connected at wendybazilian.com.
Speaker:And don't forget to share with your friends.
Speaker:Your support helps us grow and bring you more great content.
Speaker:Until next time, find some simple opportunities to optimize those 1000 Waking Minutes each day.
Speaker:♪ I'm saying yes to better days, yes ♪ ♪ I'm on my way, yes, it's gonna be okay, yeah ♪ ♪ I'm saying yes to better days, yes ♪ ♪ I'm on my way, yes, it's gonna be okay, yeah ♪
