30 - Breaking the Criticism Loop: Daily Tools for More Calm
What happens after you pause the critic?After you catch the thought, let it pause, and create space — what fills that space?
In this episode, Dr. Wendy Bazilian continues the conversation from the last episode about creating a criticism-free day — and explores what comes next: the practices that build resilience, creativity, and compassion when the critic steps back.
Join Dr. Wendy as she shares real-life examples, simple (but powerful) language shifts, the science behind positive self-talk, and how mindful awareness can reshape not just our reactions but our whole mindset over time. This isn't about ignoring frustration or forcing positivity. It is about softening our lens, strengthening our resilience, and making space for calm, curiosity, and connection.
You will leave with three specific, research-backed practices — and an invitation to notice, reframe, and rewire in your waking minutes.
We discuss:
(1:46) A quick recap of the CLEAR™ method and why pausing is just the beginning
(5:12) A story about when the Keynote was in peril: When things go wrong, how self-talk shifted everything
(8:32) Why it’s not about ignoring challenges but resilience, and why biting your tongue isn’t the same as changing your mindset
(11:19) Language swaps: real-world examples to soften your self-talk and daily commentary
(19:48) Gratitude as a tool for resilience and stress reduction
(23:47) The hidden power of mindful noticing and non-reactivity
(26:04) How tiny daily practices rewire the brain for resilience and connection
(29:29) A mindful minute of reflection and reset to anchor the practices into your day
CONNECT WITH WENDY
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Visit the website: wendybazilian.com
Email me: 1KWM@wendybazilian.com
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Thank you for tuning in to 1,000 Waking Minutes and being part of this journey — together.
A heartfelt thank you to our amazing collaborators including our production and marketing teams, and Gabriela Escalante in particular. To the talented Beza for our theme music, Pearl Preis Photography and Design, Danielle Ballantyne, Jen Nguyen, Joanna Powell, and of course, my family and everyone working tirelessly behind the scenes.
HEALTH DISCLAIMER
The information shared in this podcast is for educational purposes only and should not be considered individual medical or health advice. Always consult with your trusted healthcare provider before making any changes to your diet, exercise, or medical treatment.
Transcript
You know that moment when
Speaker:the critique is right there,
Speaker:on your tongue, in your
Speaker:thoughts, about to spill out.
Speaker:You catch it, you pause.
Speaker:Now what?
Speaker:That's the moment we're working
Speaker:with today.
Speaker:Because criticism is easy, but
Speaker:responding differently, that's a practice.
Speaker:We experience 1,000 waking
Speaker:minutes on average every day.
Speaker:How are you spending yours?
Speaker:I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian, and
Speaker:you're listening to 1,000 Waking
Speaker:Minutes.
Speaker:I can't wait to connect
Speaker:with you here with practical
Speaker:ways to eat well, move
Speaker:daily, and be healthy.
Speaker:To optimize every waking minute
Speaker:you live for a happier,
Speaker:healthier life.
Speaker:Thank you for sharing some
Speaker:of your waking minutes with
Speaker:me today.
Speaker:Let's get started.
Speaker:I'm saying yes to better
Speaker:days, yes.
Speaker:I'm on my way, yes.
Speaker:It's gonna be okay, yeah.
Speaker:Welcome back to 1,000 Waking
Speaker:Minutes.
Speaker:I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian, and
Speaker:I'm really glad you're joining
Speaker:me today.
Speaker:In the last episode, which
Speaker:if you haven't heard it,
Speaker:go back and listen to
Speaker:it, we stepped back from
Speaker:something that most of us
Speaker:do without thinking.
Speaker:We took a break from
Speaker:criticism.
Speaker:Not because life suddenly got
Speaker:easier, or because we don't
Speaker:notice things happening, but because
Speaker:we were willing to pause
Speaker:and look at how often
Speaker:we slip into critique mode
Speaker:toward others, toward the world,
Speaker:and maybe most often toward
Speaker:ourselves.
Speaker:We explored in that episode
Speaker:what I call the CLEAR
Speaker:method.
Speaker:It's a five-part framework,
Speaker:happens to be conveniently a
Speaker:word also, which sort of
Speaker:magically happened, I didn't force
Speaker:that.
Speaker:But really it helps us
Speaker:catch the moments, let them
Speaker:pause, explore what's underneath them,
Speaker:ask if the criticism is
Speaker:really necessary or helpful, and
Speaker:then reframe or release them.
Speaker:And here's what I want
Speaker:to ask today.
Speaker:So once we've created that
Speaker:space, what do we do
Speaker:to fill it with?
Speaker:What's next?
Speaker:Because if we start quieting
Speaker:the critic and getting good
Speaker:at that, even just for
Speaker:a moment or some moments,
Speaker:what takes its place?
Speaker:Do we just sit in
Speaker:awkward silence?
Speaker:Do we bite our tongues
Speaker:so hard we end up
Speaker:muttering something worse under our
Speaker:breath as we walk away?
Speaker:That's what we're going to
Speaker:explore today in this episode.
Speaker:And it isn't about toxic
Speaker:positivity, about just forcing positivity,
Speaker:or pretending that everything's fine
Speaker:when really it's not.
Speaker:But it is about finding
Speaker:some tiny swaps at times,
Speaker:some little ways we can
Speaker:interrupt the habit of criticism
Speaker:and perhaps replace it with
Speaker:something else.
Speaker:Compassion, curiosity, maybe humor?
Speaker:We'll soften the tone a
Speaker:little bit, maybe ask a
Speaker:better question, or even just
Speaker:take a breath instead of
Speaker:a bite.
Speaker:And we'll bring a little
Speaker:bit of that C.L.E.A.R. back
Speaker:in, Catching it, Letting it [pause],
Speaker:Exploring it, Asking and Releasing
Speaker:and Reframing.
Speaker:We'll do that.
Speaker:This method isn't just to
Speaker:pause the critical loop that
Speaker:we get circled into, but
Speaker:it helps us start to
Speaker:do something or build something
Speaker:better in its place.
Speaker:And we're going to look
Speaker:at that together.
Speaker:I'll bring in a little
Speaker:bit of science, some language
Speaker:shifts today, and a few
Speaker:real-world moments that might
Speaker:just sound a little too
Speaker:familiar, if you know what
Speaker:I mean.
Speaker:So we've taken a break
Speaker:from criticism.
Speaker:Maybe one day once a
Speaker:month, one day a week,
Speaker:one day a quarter, you
Speaker:decide, one day when you
Speaker:need it.
Speaker:We notice how often it
Speaker:sneaks into our days toward
Speaker:others, the world, ourselves.
Speaker:But we're going to fill
Speaker:the space with something else
Speaker:because, let's face it, sometimes
Speaker:when there's that void, we
Speaker:don't know what to do.
Speaker:One of the things we're
Speaker:going to talk about is
Speaker:self-talk.
Speaker:It's that inner dialogue that's
Speaker:running through all of our
Speaker:minds.
Speaker:Sometimes it's encouraging and sometimes
Speaker:not so much.
Speaker:And as it turns out,
Speaker:this has a significant impact
Speaker:on our overall well-being.
Speaker:A number of studies have
Speaker:highlighted how positive self-talk
Speaker:can support better psychological well
Speaker:-being.
Speaker:It can improve resilience under
Speaker:stress and even benefit cardiovascular
Speaker:health.
Speaker:That's a physical benefit as
Speaker:well.
Speaker:And it doesn't mean walking
Speaker:around cheerleading yourself, but it
Speaker:means offering a more helpful
Speaker:inner voice when it really
Speaker:counts.
Speaker:But let's bring this to
Speaker:life a little bit, this
Speaker:idea about self-talk and
Speaker:how it can help with
Speaker:a little story, a little
Speaker:personal story here, just brief.
Speaker:A moment where this really
Speaker:showed up for me.
Speaker:I was giving a keynote
Speaker:presentation at a big luncheon.
Speaker:There were lots of moving
Speaker:parts, including a food demo
Speaker:that was going to happen
Speaker:that I was doing on
Speaker:stage, but also some tastings
Speaker:happening in the crowd.
Speaker:And the slides were ready.
Speaker:Everything was ready.
Speaker:We were getting ready.
Speaker:Everyone was coming in.
Speaker:Food was being served.
Speaker:And the conference laptop died.
Speaker:At first, you don't worry
Speaker:about it because you just
Speaker:think something turned off or
Speaker:someone hit a switch.
Speaker:But then we noticed a
Speaker:little bit of scrambling.
Speaker:And this was the main
Speaker:computer for the conference.
Speaker:This was not my computer.
Speaker:It was completely gone, dark,
Speaker:no slides, no visuals.
Speaker:And the tech team was
Speaker:really scrambling.
Speaker:And I had a room
Speaker:full of people getting ready
Speaker:for their lunch on a
Speaker:time schedule and getting ready
Speaker:for my presentation as well.
Speaker:In that moment, I could
Speaker:feel a quickening of my
Speaker:nerves, anxiety, an inner voice
Speaker:trying to take the wheel,
Speaker:so to speak, like take
Speaker:over.
Speaker:When I should be thinking
Speaker:about my presentation, I'm thinking
Speaker:about tech problems and "What
Speaker:will I do next.
Speaker:This isn't how it's supposed
Speaker:to go.
Speaker:This may not land the
Speaker:way I wanted to.
Speaker:I'm not going to deliver
Speaker:this the way that I
Speaker:intended.
Speaker:Maybe I do use my
Speaker:slides too much as a
Speaker:crutch.
Speaker:Maybe I'm panicking, even though
Speaker:I teach just the opposite."
Speaker:But then I stood there.
Speaker:I looked out to the
Speaker:group.
Speaker:I was standing actually on
Speaker:a lifted stage in front
Speaker:of a table.
Speaker:I took a breath, and
Speaker:I reminded myself: "You know
Speaker:this information.
Speaker:You've lived this content.
Speaker:You can guide.
Speaker:You can present.
Speaker:You can educate without slides."
Speaker:And even more than that,
Speaker:I reminded myself that everyone
Speaker:here is here to hear
Speaker:me, not look at my
Speaker:pretty slide deck.
Speaker:They're here to listen, to
Speaker:be with and in person
Speaker:with another person, and perhaps
Speaker:to learn or be entertained
Speaker:or just have a nice
Speaker:lunch and reinforce, many times,...
Speaker:some thoughts that they have.
Speaker:These were health professionals.
Speaker:These were my peers.
Speaker:But as I shifted the
Speaker:tone in my head, and
Speaker:I sort of brought a
Speaker:smile to my inner voice
Speaker:and hopefully to my face,
Speaker:my nerves really started to
Speaker:quiet.
Speaker:I started to recenter and
Speaker:get like a hyper focus.
Speaker:I slowed down, and I
Speaker:just connected.
Speaker:And that was sort of
Speaker:the power of self-talk
Speaker:in action.
Speaker:It was purposeful, and it
Speaker:wasn't because it made the
Speaker:tech work.
Speaker:Again, it didn't make the
Speaker:computer magically start, but it
Speaker:helped me work through that
Speaker:moment with a little bit
Speaker:of calm and presence and
Speaker:to come back to center.
Speaker:So that shift in self
Speaker:-talk didn't just calm my
Speaker:nerves.
Speaker:It shifted and changed my
Speaker:entire approach.
Speaker:So it's not about ignoring
Speaker:challenges that come up and
Speaker:approaching them with a mindset
Speaker:that is just like we're
Speaker:going to overcome it, but
Speaker:to foster some resilience through
Speaker:how we shift and how
Speaker:we use our self-talk.
Speaker:And positive self-talk isn't
Speaker:about pretending everything's perfect either.
Speaker:It's about being kind to
Speaker:ourselves, especially when things aren't
Speaker:going well.
Speaker:So how do we practice
Speaker:that?
Speaker:First, we catch the negative
Speaker:thought.
Speaker:We let it pause.
Speaker:We explore what it's about,
Speaker:its origin, what's happening.
Speaker:We ask, "is it helpful
Speaker:or would it be helpful
Speaker:to have this criticism at
Speaker:the moment, to pursue and
Speaker:keep down this path?"
Speaker:And then we either reframe
Speaker:it or we release it.
Speaker:And that, again, is our
Speaker:CLEAR method in action.
Speaker:So instead of saying "I'm
Speaker:terrible at this," maybe we
Speaker:say "I'm learning.
Speaker:It's okay to make mistakes
Speaker:when you're learning something new."
Speaker:A small shift in how
Speaker:you self-talk can really
Speaker:help.
Speaker:It's not about some perfect
Speaker:scenario.
Speaker:It's about progress towards some
Speaker:change.
Speaker:So we're going to talk
Speaker:about what to say instead.
Speaker:Some tiny swaps that I
Speaker:think have some big shifts.
Speaker:when the inner critic comes
Speaker:either to yourself or to
Speaker:the outward world, let's say
Speaker:you do pause.
Speaker:You take that pause.
Speaker:You're like, "okay, I grabbed
Speaker:it."
Speaker:You catch your breath.
Speaker:And you think of maybe
Speaker:the clear acronym that you're
Speaker:getting solidified in.
Speaker:And we're tackling the exploration
Speaker:of this.
Speaker:But now what?
Speaker:Now what?
Speaker:After that, the critical moment.
Speaker:Get that?
Speaker:The "critical moment".
Speaker:I just said that.
Speaker:Indeed, a critical moment.
Speaker:This is a critical moment.
Speaker:The now what?
Speaker:What do you actually say
Speaker:instead, out loud or in
Speaker:your head, wherever it's going?
Speaker:Because let's be honest, this
Speaker:silence that can be created
Speaker:in this pause, the breath,
Speaker:it isn't always satisfying.
Speaker:It doesn't feel like enough
Speaker:at times.
Speaker:And it can make us
Speaker:more anxious.
Speaker:And biting your tongue isn't
Speaker:the same thing as shifting
Speaker:your mindset.
Speaker:Keep that in mind.
Speaker:Sometimes we're like, "well, I'll
Speaker:just bite my tongue and
Speaker:not say it."
Speaker:And you sort of stew,
Speaker:and it even gets worse.
Speaker:It's not the same as
Speaker:shifting your mindset.
Speaker:So this next part we're
Speaker:going to be talking about,
Speaker:I have three strategies, so
Speaker:to speak, about filling the
Speaker:space gently, thoughtfully, and with
Speaker:a few words that hopefully
Speaker:won't make you cringe or
Speaker:feel fake when you're doing
Speaker:this.
Speaker:So, 'what to say instead'
Speaker:when those moments sneak up.
Speaker:We can use language swaps.
Speaker:I alluded to it and
Speaker:talked about it a moment
Speaker:ago, some positive self-talk,
Speaker:but also language swaps in
Speaker:general, some simple human and
Speaker:real examples.
Speaker:I'll share a few that
Speaker:you might relate to, maybe
Speaker:a few that you won't.
Speaker:And I promise none of
Speaker:these will feel like a
Speaker:self-help poster, even though
Speaker:I do admit to liking
Speaker:some of those self-help
Speaker:posters that I see at
Speaker:times.
Speaker:So think about this.
Speaker:Maybe you've attended a meeting
Speaker:and you close your laptop
Speaker:and you go back to
Speaker:your desk or you get
Speaker:off the Zoom call and
Speaker:you sort of start to
Speaker:berate yourself like, "oh, I
Speaker:messed up that or I
Speaker:fumbled some words or I
Speaker:could have been more articulate.
Speaker:Now I have my thoughts.
Speaker:I could have been more
Speaker:useful."
Speaker:And you start replaying what
Speaker:could have been in your
Speaker:head.
Speaker:It's like an inner tension
Speaker:and maybe like second-guessing.
Speaker:It's a spiral, really.
Speaker:But instead of piling on
Speaker:the critique, you might say
Speaker:to yourself, "maybe that wasn't
Speaker:my best moment, but it's
Speaker:just one moment.
Speaker:It's not the whole picture.
Speaker:Here are some proactive things
Speaker:I might do in the
Speaker:future" or really, now we're
Speaker:getting back to work.
Speaker:Most of us are back
Speaker:into work, and I'm going
Speaker:to take what I got
Speaker:from the meeting and move
Speaker:forward.
Speaker:Maybe as simple as that.
Speaker:Another scenario, you're in your
Speaker:closet or you're pulling out
Speaker:something out of your drawer.
Speaker:You're trying on your outfits
Speaker:for the day or you're
Speaker:trying on something you haven't
Speaker:worn in a while and
Speaker:you expect it's going to
Speaker:fit.
Speaker:And nothing is feeling right.
Speaker:Nothing is fitting right.
Speaker:Nothing just feels, you know,
Speaker:you're frustrated.
Speaker:Your body all of a
Speaker:sudden becomes the problem.
Speaker:You were just trying to
Speaker:get your clothes on and
Speaker:now you're critiquing your body
Speaker:in some way.
Speaker:And that can create a
Speaker:downward spiral to a lot
Speaker:of individuals and it can
Speaker:set a tone for the
Speaker:entire day.
Speaker:Instead, you can use some
Speaker:other words and think, "you
Speaker:know what?
Speaker:This is a hard body
Speaker:day for me."
Speaker:You know, we have our
Speaker:bad hair days and we
Speaker:sort of laugh those off
Speaker:at times.
Speaker:"This is a harder day
Speaker:for my body for me.
Speaker:You know, I'll wear something
Speaker:that's a little softer and
Speaker:more gentle" and gently move
Speaker:through the day.
Speaker:Just shifting some things.
Speaker:Maybe that resonates with you.
Speaker:Maybe it doesn't, but shifting
Speaker:a little bit.
Speaker:You don't have to fix
Speaker:it or be rah-rah
Speaker:about yourself altogether.
Speaker:You can be gentler with
Speaker:yourself instead.
Speaker:Or maybe here's another scenario
Speaker:that all of us have
Speaker:fallen into, I imagine, at
Speaker:times.
Speaker:You're scrolling.
Speaker:Maybe it's late at night.
Speaker:Maybe it's, you know, a
Speaker:mindless moment when you're waiting
Speaker:for someone to come meet
Speaker:you at a car.
Speaker:You're scrolling on your phone
Speaker:and someone posts a success,
Speaker:a confidence, something they wore,
Speaker:something they said.
Speaker:It just hits you wrong.
Speaker:And you let either comparison
Speaker:or criticism creep in.
Speaker:It becomes like judgment, basically.
Speaker:Who wore it best?
Speaker:We're, like, trained to do
Speaker:this.
Speaker:Like, magazines, like, who wore
Speaker:it best?
Speaker:And it's like asking you
Speaker:when there's two, you know,
Speaker:beautiful humans wearing beautiful clothing
Speaker:and they're asking you to
Speaker:choose and therefore critique the
Speaker:other.
Speaker:When you're doing this and
Speaker:pointing it either at yourself
Speaker:or making comparison, maybe one
Speaker:of the things you can
say:"they're on their path,
say:I'm on mine, and mine
say:doesn't have to look like
say:theirs right now."
say:Or "let's find something positive
say:to say.
say:Let's point out some attribute
say:that doesn't allow this brain
say:to walk down the path
say:that I'm seeing myself going
say:toward."
say:Another scenario that we probably
say:all experience at times is
say:sort of the kitchen mess.
say:You know, it might be
say:post-dinner.
say:It might be just a
say:day.
say:It might be just, you
say:know, the chaos that is
say:life at times.
say:Maybe you meant to do
say:the dishes.
say:You didn't have time.
say:It's been a long day.
say:And you walk into that
say:messy kitchen.
say:You're like, "ugh, I dropped
say:the ball again or I
say:should have done this."
say:Everything just feels wrong because
say:you're looking at a messy
say:kitchen.
say:It seems like it's representing
say:or symbolic of so many
say:other things.
say:"I dropped the ball again."
say:"Pause.
say:Breathe."
say:I'm saying this to myself
say:at the moment.
say:Sometimes this happens to me.
say:This isn't ideal, what I'm
say:looking at.
say:This is not a moral
say:failing on my part.
say:It's just dinner.
say:It's just dishes.
say:I'm human.
say:We'll get through this.
say:Small shifts.
say:We're not correcting the world
say:with these.
say:And then there's others.
say:You know, it might be
say:your partner, your co-workers,
say:even your children at times.
say:This can really hit a
say:nerve for some.
say:An inner voice that might
say:make you say, "Seriously?! Again?!"
say:Or, "it's so unbelievable that
say:this person does X, Y,
say:Z."
Or:"how can this happen?"
Or:Or maybe it's about you
Or:and them.
Or:"They always do this.
Or:Why do I even bother?"
Or:"I always do this...
Or:why do they even bother?"
Or:I don't know.
Or:But maybe you can try.
Or:"You know what?
Or:Something's really getting to me.
Or:I need to take a
Or:pause before I respond."
Or:So this can be person
Or:to person.
Or:Or maybe just taking a
Or:pause and saying, "let me
Or:regroup on what I'm tending
Or:toward, what I'm anchoring into,
Or:what I'm moving toward.
Or:Let me see if I
Or:can rephrase this."
Or:And finally, just one more.
Or:This is about taking it
Or:back to the Beginner's Mind.
Or:Something that I talked about
Or:very briefly in the last
Or:episode.
Or:A Zen practice of, instead
Or:of being the expert on,
Or:and you might relate to
Or:this, at the moment, whatever
Or:thing it is, it may
Or:not even be your work,
Or:your discipline, but you're the
Or:one who knows what's wrong
Or:and why.
Or:The expert.
Or:Try to stay open in
Or:those moments.
Or:The way that the car
Or:is fixed, the way someone's
Or:pumping their gas, the way
Or:that someone takes out their
Or:garbage.
Or:All of a sudden, you're
Or:the expert on how it
Or:should be done.
Or:And your critic comes out.
Or:You may not verbalize it,
Or:but you might be thinking
Or:it.
Or:Remember, we're going to pause.
Or:And then be curious.
Or:Use curiosity.
Or:Use the Beginner's Mind.
Or:Approach the moment with a
Or:little more, maybe, humility?
Or:But curiosity.
Or:Let's use our curiosity and
Or:a little less urgency to
Or:try to solve or point
Or:out, what's wrong with this
Or:scenario?
Or:Because after all, you're the
Or:expert.
Or:Which maybe you'll chuckle, because
Or:that's the funny part.
Or:A lot of us, when
Or:we do that, and put
Or:those words to it, we
Or:go, of course I'm not
Or:the expert on that.
Or:But I never really thought
Or:to open up to the
Or:idea that there might be
Or:other reasons that people do
Or:what they do, right, wrong,
Or:or otherwise, just different reasons.
Or:And when you do that,
Or:you get to say one
Or:of my favorite two words,
Or:"I wonder", instead of, I
Or:know exactly what's going on.
Or:I wonder.
Or:And something shifts.
Or:I wonder.
Or:It's something my six-year
Or:-old and I try to
Or:practice every day when looking
Or:at the world, open-eyed
Or:and curiously, curiously, with curiosity.
Or:I guess it's curiously at
Or:the world at times.
Or:Maybe that's a critical eye
Or:coming in.
Or:But with curiosity.
Or:We literally have it up
Or:on the wall in one
Or:of our rooms.
Or:"I wonder, dot, dot, dot."
Or:And we've got the dot,
Or:dot, dot after the ellipsis.
Or:So it's pausing, shifting to
Or:maybe "ack", still, like "ack!"
Or:But more with like, "why
Or:is this getting my goat
Or:here?
Or:I wonder."
Or:Why?
Or:Can you create some space,
Or:maybe, for a little more
Or:grace in that moment?
Or:So these are the moments,
Or:the little frictions, the quiet
Or:corners of the day where
Or:criticism slides in without a
Or:sound.
Or:We don't need to replace
Or:them with beautiful rainbows and
Or:affirmations, although we talk a
Or:lot about rainbows and unicorns
Or:in this house.
Or:But just with something more
Or:honest, maybe something more helpful,
Or:a sentence that leaves space
Or:instead of silence.
Or:So the next tool for
Or:your toolbox and practice that
Or:you can use, the first
Or:one was sort of swapping
Or:in words and using language.
Or:Now we're going to talk
Or:about using gratitude and reframing.
Or:And it's another tool that
Or:I love, and it doesn't
Or:sound fancy, gratitude, you hear
Or:about it.
Or:But it's one of the
Or:most grounding tools that I
Or:know, and it really is
Or:a good practice, gratitude.
Or:This isn't about the fancy
Or:gratitude journal with gold pens
Or:that you use at night,
Or:which, by the way, are
Or:amazing, and I really support
Or:that and encourage expressing gratitude
Or:as sort of your blessings
Or:of the day and what
Or:you can be thankful.
Or:Those are really great, too.
Or:But here I mean the
Or:simple moments, the kind that
Or:can happen anytime when you
Or:take pause and on purpose.
Or:So it's quiet, it's easy
Or:to skip, but it can
Or:shift your entire lens if
Or:you practice it regularly.
Or:Noticing just one thing that
Or:went well, maybe in an
Or:otherwise chaotic scenario, or a
Or:moment that makes you smile
Or:amidst other parts of that
Or:hour, that day, that meal,
Or:whatever it is.
Or:Maybe one thing about a
Or:frustrating situation.
Or:This gets a little bit
Or:more tricky, but so wonderful.
Or:That's still somehow okay.
Or:Something within a frustration or
Or:frustrating situation, that's still okay.
Or:And why is this important?
Or:Because research has shown that
Or:practicing gratitude actually changes the
Or:ways our brains scan for
Or:information.
Or:So research back several years,
Or:but much since as well,
Or:by Emmons and McCullough, that's
Or:research that dates back a
Or:while, found that people who
Or:wrote about things they were
Or:grateful for even once a
Or:week heightened well-being.
Or:And in other words, being
Or:more optimistic and feeling better
Or:about their lives physically and
Or:emotionally.
Or:And other research has sort
Or:of substantiated that further.
Or:A big review sort of
Or:confirmed this,
Or:though they noted that it was
Or:more about the frequency and
Or:regularity, the consistency of expressing
Or:gratitude that really started to
Or:show up.
Or:More than four times was
Or:really key to showing up
Or:for benefit.
Or:So that could be once
Or:a week over four weeks
Or:or longer.
Or:It could be multiple times
Or:a day.
Or:But it's about the impact
Or:on our mood, our mental
Or:health, especially feelings of stress
Or:and depression, and also our
Or:physical and overall well-being.
Or:So that's a little bit
Or:less clear in the research
Or:science.
Or:This is about expressing gratitude
Or:frequently and consistently and its
Or:impact on things like mood,
Or:on stress, and physical well
Or:-being.
Or:So how do we do
Or:this without the fancy journal?
Or:How about shifting again or
Or:using some of that word
Or:shifting and thinking like instead
Or:of "this meeting was a
Or:disaster", the first scenario I
Or:painted before, you might reframe
Or:it and say, "well, that
Or:was messy, but I got
Or:through it."
Or:Or "I'm proud of how
Or:I handled that moment."
Or:Then you take a breath,
Or:and it's always good to
Or:take the breath because it
Or:helps sort of cleanse and
Or:settle you to move forward.
Or:So the expression of gratitude
Or:doesn't have to like shift
Or:and be artificial.
Or:It's just within a moment,
Or:is there something you can
Or:be grateful for or identify
Or:that you can be grateful
Or:for?
Or:Simple as that, you know,
Or:that went well or amidst
Or:turmoil, is there some saving
Or:peace ?
Or:And even just taking the
Or:breath and moving forward is
Or:something to be grateful for.
Or:So as a final practice,
Or:we explored gratitude just now.
Or:We explored some language shifts,
Or:and you can use those
Or:in tandem.
Or:Those are more active things
Or:you can do after you
Or:take that pause or as
Or:you're taking that pause.
Or:And there's one more practice
Or:I want to mention here,
Or:and it might be the
Or:most subtle of all.
Or:It allows us to sort
Or:of zoom back out and
Or:take a breath, take that
Or:breath, and bring awareness to
Or:the moment.
Or:And it's simply noticing, being
Or:aware, in the first place.
Or:I could have put this
Or:at the beginning of the practices,
Or:but I actually wanted to
Or:put it deliberately at the
Or:end because it's good sometimes
Or:to come out of the
Or:actual scenarios and say, observing
Or:what's happening, taking a look
Or:at what's happening in your
Or:thoughts and your body in
Or:a moment without rushing to
Or:judge it will make some
Or:of the tools that I
Or:gave you easier to practice.
Or:It can slow you down
Or:- the pace - and be really
Or:the deepest part of allowing
Or:us to think about what
Or:might come next, start down
Or:the path, either to criticism
Or:or other.
Or:What might come next?
Or:It may not sound like
Or:much, but it can be
Or:powerful.
Or:When you notice a critical
Or:thought and you don't immediately
Or:react to it, you've already
Or:interrupted the cycle.
Or:Think about that.
Or:This kind of awareness is
Or:at the heart of many
Or:of the mindfulness traditions like
Or:Taoist philosophy.
Or:And there is this concept
Or:of wu-wei, it's called,
Or:about non-forcing.
Or:It's a type of flow.
Or:We talked about FLOWS in
Or:a different way recently in
Or:some episodes.
Or:But a type of flow,
Or:rather than reacting to control
Or:or change something, a sort
Or:of way, not an inaction,
Or:but it's sort of referred
Or:to as 'effortless action' in
Or:Taoist thought, the wu-wei.
Or:And it's learning to move
Or:with the world a little
Or:bit more with ease, but
Or:with intention.
Or:So let's think with intention,
Or:but a little easier, without
Or:over-correcting or resisting at
Or:every turn.
Or:And when I think of
Or:that, even when I was
Or:preparing for today, when I
Or:just think of that, it
Or:puts me more at ease.
Or:It sounds nice.
Or:And research backs this up
Or:as well.
Or:Studies show that present moment
Or:awareness can reduce emotional reactivity
Or:and also increase resilience, all
Or:by helping us take that
Or:pause before we speak or
Or:act.
Or:Psychologist and mindfulness teacher, Jon
Or:Kabat-Zinn, you may have
Or:heard of him, has written
Or:extensively about this kind of
Or:noticing as the foundation for
Or:stress reduction and healing, simply
Or:by paying attention on purpose
Or:and without judgment.
Or:So there we have it.
Or:We have moved little by
Or:little in a few practices
Or:through and from critic to
Or:curious to hopefully compassionate.
Or:Is there hope for us?
Or:Yes, I think that there
Or:is.
Or:What all these practices have
Or:in common - the noticing, the
Or:language shifts, the quiet moments
Or:of gratitude - is that they
Or:gently pull us out of
Or:autopilot when it comes to
Or:criticism.
Or:They almost force the pause.
Or:They allow us space to
Or:choose.
Or:And they remind us that
Or:if criticism comes fast, kindness
Or:can come just as easily
Or:once we know where to
Or:look.
Or:Noticing.
Or:This is a chance for
Or:us to respond with curiosity,
Or:"I wonder...", or compassion, or
Or:even just with less urgency,
Or:less reactivity.
Or:Because it's not about walking
Or:around being endlessly cheerful, although
Or:I do like to be
Or:around people who smile, but
Or:I like it to be
Or:authentic.
Or:But it is about being
Or:a little more spacious with
Or:our reactions.
Or:And sometimes you don't have
Or:to say something positive to
Or:do this.
Or:You just have to say
Or:something different than the criticism.
Or:So when that critical voice
Or:creeps up in the traffic,
Or:in your commentary of other
Or:people driving, in your conversation,
Or:even when you're looking in
Or:the mirror, take pause.
Or:Use the acronym CLEAR, the
Or:word I shared.
Or:Catch it.
Or:Let it pause.
Or:Explore.
Or:Ask.
Or:This may be where you
Or:evaluate your options and identify
Or:which of the practices you'll
Or:use.
Or:And R for Reframe or
Or:Release.
Or:This is where you choose
Or:to respond, whether to respond,
Or:how you'll respond, which may
Or:be in one of these
Or:practices we talked about today.
Or:Language.
Or:Gratitude.
Or:Choosing to release and let
Or:it go.
Or:So you might try a
Or:language swap.
Or:Try a breath.
Or:Try reframing.
Or:Try asking, "what else might
Or:be true here?
Or:I wonder..."
Or:And turn it into a
Or:moment of gratitude related, or
Or:even into something else.
Or:Just notice how you might
Or:make a shift.
Or:These are tiny changes, but
Or:over time, they sort of
Or:soften the hard edges of
Or:the day and they create,
Or:very importantly, they create more
Or:space in your waking minutes
Or:for the curiosity, for more
Or:calm, and maybe even a
Or:little more joy away from
Or:the criticism and that comes
Or:naturally.
Or:So before we wrap up
Or:this episode for today, I
Or:think having a Mindful Minute
Or:together could do us some
Or:good and help us anchor
Or:into what we talked about
Or:today.
Or:Help us get to that
Or:next place and space where
Or:we can start to do
Or:something differently, when the move
Or:to criticism can be shifted
Or:at least some of the
Or:time.
Or:And just a reminder also,
Or:you don't need to be
Or:anywhere special or do anything
Or:fancy to have a minute
Or:of meditation or mindfulness.
Or:You just need your breath
Or:and a willingness to take
Or:pause.
Or:So rest your feet, ground
Or:them on the floor.
Or:If it feels safe, sort
Or:of soften your gaze or
Or:even close your eyes.
Or:Let your shoulders relax, your
Or:hands rest, and let's take
Or:one full preparation breath together.
Or:In through your nose, out
Or:through the mouth, and we'll
Or:begin our mindful minute now
Or:together.
Or:Just breathe.
Or:If a thought comes up,
Or:let it pass by like
Or:a cloud and come back
Or:to your breath.
Or:Think to yourself, I'm showing
Or:up in my life.
Or:Sometimes it's harder, sometimes it's
Or:easier, and I'm enough.
Or:Take one last easy breath
Or:in and gently out.
Or:And that's it.
Or:One moment shared to pause,
Or:rest, renew.
Or:Our mental energy can come
Or:back into focus and see
Or:what's possible in our waking
Or:minutes each day.
Or:Thank you for sharing that
Or:Mindful Minute with me.
Or:So today, we explored what
Or:we can say instead of
Or:criticism, how to soften our
Or:inner voice, how to practice
Or:something different, and how those
Or:small shifts can really start
Or:to change the tone of
Or:our day.
Or:And when you pair this
Or:with some of the things
Or:we talked about, like language
Or:swaps, gratitude, or even just
Or:mindful awareness, noticing, you're not
Or:just avoiding criticism.
Or:You're rewiring your response system.
Or:You're actually creating new patterns
Or:in the brain.
Or:And this is where science
Or:meets the practice because over
Or:time, when you repeat a
Or:pattern, catching, pausing, exploring, asking,
Or:and choosing a better response,
Or:that becomes your new groove.
Or:Nerves that fire together, wire
Or:together, is what neuroscientists say,
Or:and you can get into
Or:a new groove.
Or:And that's not woo-woo,
Or:that's neuroplasticity, literally.
Or:Our brains can change.
Or:And these small intentional practices
Or:are the way we help
Or:that happen.
Or:And I think it's really
Or:cool.
Or:I hope you do too.
Or:And it's definitely worth trying.
Or:I'm so glad you spent
Or:a few of your waking
Or:minutes with me today.
Or:Thank you for listening and
Or:for practicing.
Or:If you found something helpful
Or:here, I'd love to hear
Or:from you.
Or:And I'd also love for
Or:you to leave a comment
Or:on your podcast channel and
Or:send a note, or share
Or:this episode with someone who
Or:might appreciate the pause.
Or:You can find me at
Or:wendybazilian.com or write me
Or:at 1KWM@wendybazilian.com.
Or:I'm grateful to you.
Or:And I'm Wendy Bazilian, your
Or:podcast friend in pursuing a
Or:life well-lived by thinking
Or:about the choices we make
Or:during our 1,000 waking
Or:minutes each day.
Or:Until next time, be well.
Or:Thank you for tuning in
Or:to 1,000 Waking Minutes,
Or:a huge thank you to
Or:our amazing collaborators, including our
Or:production and marketing teams and
Or:Gabriela Escalante in particular, to
Or:the ultra talented Beza for
Or:my theme music, my lifelong
Or:friend and artist, Pearl Preis
Or:Photography and Design, to Danielle
Or:Ballantyne, Jen Nguyen, Joanna Powell,
Or:and of course my family,
Or:and everyone working tirelessly behind
Or:the scenes.
Or:And to you, our valued
Or:listeners, I so appreciate your
Or:support.
Or:If you enjoyed today's episode,
Or:please consider leaving a comment,
Or:writing a review, and giving
Or:1,000 Waking Minutes, that's
Or:us, a five-star rating.
Or:And please hit subscribe on
Or:Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever
Or:you enjoy your podcasts.
Or:Please follow and stay connected
Or:at wendybazilian.com and don't
Or:forget to share with your
Or:friends.
Or:Your support helps us grow
Or:and bring you more great
Or:content.
Or:Until next time, find some
Or:simple opportunities to optimize those
Or:1,000 waking minutes each
Or:day.
Or:I'm saying yes to better
Or:days, yes I'm on my
Or:way, yes It's gonna be
Or:okay, yeah I'm saying yes
Or:to better days, yes I'm
Or:on my way, yes It's
Or:gonna be okay, yeah
